Blaine: Day Seven - Hal Ashby
In 1986, a very well respected and talented directed decided to try his hand at adapting a best selling novel. The novel was early in the series and they cast a handsome and charming leading man. He was a complex protagonist with many layers and demons but they pulled it off and made one of my all time favorite movies...
That movie was MANHUNTER.
That same year, another very well respected and talented directed tried his hand at adapting a best seller (also early in the series) and they, too, cast a handsome and charming leading man. He was a complex protagonist with many layers and demons but they did NOT pull it off and made one of the worst movies I've ever had to sit through...
I give you,
8 MILLION WAYS TO DIE
Nice try, Jeff.
I felt like I died 8 million times while watching this slug of a film. I had told Blaine that I had already seen this film but I was wrong. I must have seen some of it a long time ago because if I had miraculously made it all the way through, I would have the scars to prove it. Oh boy. And just to be fair, I actually read the book this week so I would have something to compare the film to since this is my final review for Blaine's week...
THE NOVEL: This was my first foray into a Lawrence Block novel and I was pleasantly surprised. Block can certainly write. Unfortunately, the character of Matthew Scudder is one of the least interesting characters to be part of a series. I don't get it. He's basically an ex-cop with a drinking problem. He's not particularly skilled at solving mysteries (like Harry Bosch) or incredibly charming and tough (like Travis McGee) or even dangerously intelligent and physically imposing (like Reacher). He's kinda just a drunk. On the page he does have a rich history with an ex-wife and a child and some scars from being in the Sheriff's Department but that really doesn't translate to film at all.
For starters, I'm pretty sure the screenwriters wrote Matt Scudder on a chalkboard, read the first twenty pages and then set the book on fire. Allow me to elaborate...
In the novel, Matt is approached by an old friend who asks him to do a favor and meet with a prostitute who is looking to get out from under her pimp, Chance. This happens in the first three pages.
In the "film", Matt is approached by a stranger at one of his AA meetings, like, thirty minutes into the movie (we had to sit through a terrible scene where he's forced to shoot a man armed with only a bat and therefore gets kicked off the force). She hands him a piece of paper with Sunny's name and an address.
In the novel, the prostitute in question, Sunny, meets Matt at a bar and pays him money to talk to Chance in the hopes that he can get her squared away. Matt accepts and then spends a considerable amount of time tracking down Chance. They finally meet and Chance seems to be a pretty respectable guy, for a Pimp. He tells Matt that his ladies aren't his property and they are free to go whenever they want. And Sunny has no reason whatsoever to be afraid of him. He loves her.
In the film, Matt goes to Chance's house, which is a mansion which uses funicular cars to get to the main floor. Inside a huge party is going on and Chance and Matt know each other from way back in the day. What? Why? It appears Matt busted Chance before he started pimping. Sunny immediately starts hanging all over Matt, not telling him why he's there or what she wanted him for. Ugh.
"I'm scared, Matt. Hold me."
Slap.
Yep. We're back to tough guys hitting women. But Matt only slaps her because she's trying to seduce him for no reason whatsoever. And after acting like a crazy person, she finally tells him what she needs him to do. Matt talks with Chance and Chance is like ..."I don't give a shit."
And trust me, I am SPARING you the weeks and months and years of Jeff Bridges being drunk and slurring. It's like Dr. Strange put a spell on me to re-live Bridges over-acting like crazy for the rest of my life -- and then I look at my watch and three minutes have passed. It's that terrible.
Anyway, I would say the biggest and glaring difference between the novel and the film is this guy...
Yes. That's Andy Garcia. And yes, you IMMEDIATELY know he is the bad guy. Oh shit, I skipped ahead. Let's back up...
Rewind...rewind...rewind...
I forgot to mention that Sunny gets kidnapped from a store, thrown into a van, murdered, and then dumped onto a beach....all pretty much in front of Matt. This is what sets the movie into motion even though it's half-way-fucking-through. As you can imagine, this is the first turning point in the novel which MAKES SENSE!
Anyway, not only do we as the audience know that Andy Garcia killed her, but Matt accuses him right away of killing her and then spends the rest of the movie proving it. Any guesses what happens in the novel?
First off -- HIS CHARACTER ISN'T IN THE FUCKING NOVEL!!!! Secondly, we don't find out who killed Sunny or why until, like, the last ten pages of the book. Thats. Why. I. Kept. Reading.
Okay, my blood pressure is up. I need to take a breath. Can I watch Black Moon again please?
Anyway, long story short, Matt eventually figures out that Garcia is a coke dealer and he killed Sunny for some stupid reason (not at all like the book) and he and Chance and his ex-partners all get together to bring Garcia down.
Oh shit. I forgot one more thing (because it's quite forgettable)...
Rosanna Arquette is the love interest in this film. And in case you were wondering, she's not in the novel either! And normally I would be very pleased by Rosanna's presence but since this movie is top to bottom dogshit, it doesn't make a dent. And she had a fucking song named after her. Just a refresher -- Jeff Bridges, Hal Ashby, Rosanna Arquette, Andy Garcia...pile of dogshit.
There are two big "climaxes" in this clump of celluloid. The first happens when Garcia basically kidnaps Rosanna and agrees to give her back to Matt in exchange for his coke (which Matt took -- wasn't even worth explaining). So they all meet in a giant EMPTY warehouse for the exchange and things go awry. People start shooting and pretty much everyone is killed except Garcia of course who gets away.
And finally (my brain is tired just thinking about this), Matt and Rosanna head back to Chance's mansion for some reason only to find Garcia waiting for them. A ridiculous shootout occurs and Matt kills Garcia. The end. Fascinating right?
So after writing this I decided to go to the imdb page and read some trivia. And boy do things make a lot more sense now.
Apparently, Oliver Stone wrote the original first version of the script and that got re-written by some hack. Then, because the new version was so terrible the studio hired Robert Towne for another rewrite and even that version didn't get made. Eventually the final screenwriter was so embarrassed he didn't use his real name.
Also, Hal Ashby had most of the actors improvise the entire movie. Also, Hal Ashby was fired right after initial photography wrapped.
This is why Hollywood rarely gets it right.
Rating: 2 out of 20
Movies to watch instead of this: Manhunter, Walk Among the Tombstones, Jack Reacher. Really, anything else.
Horrible films aside, this was a wonderful week. Thank you, Blaine. You kept me sober and busy and I'm ready to take on my next challenge. I was going to begin Bodie's assignments but we got slightly derailed due to limited resources so I am now awaiting a DVD in the mail and I will start Bodie after our next client:
Ryan D.
Go Lions!
That movie was MANHUNTER.
That same year, another very well respected and talented directed tried his hand at adapting a best seller (also early in the series) and they, too, cast a handsome and charming leading man. He was a complex protagonist with many layers and demons but they did NOT pull it off and made one of the worst movies I've ever had to sit through...
I give you,
8 MILLION WAYS TO DIE
I felt like I died 8 million times while watching this slug of a film. I had told Blaine that I had already seen this film but I was wrong. I must have seen some of it a long time ago because if I had miraculously made it all the way through, I would have the scars to prove it. Oh boy. And just to be fair, I actually read the book this week so I would have something to compare the film to since this is my final review for Blaine's week...
THE NOVEL: This was my first foray into a Lawrence Block novel and I was pleasantly surprised. Block can certainly write. Unfortunately, the character of Matthew Scudder is one of the least interesting characters to be part of a series. I don't get it. He's basically an ex-cop with a drinking problem. He's not particularly skilled at solving mysteries (like Harry Bosch) or incredibly charming and tough (like Travis McGee) or even dangerously intelligent and physically imposing (like Reacher). He's kinda just a drunk. On the page he does have a rich history with an ex-wife and a child and some scars from being in the Sheriff's Department but that really doesn't translate to film at all.
For starters, I'm pretty sure the screenwriters wrote Matt Scudder on a chalkboard, read the first twenty pages and then set the book on fire. Allow me to elaborate...
In the novel, Matt is approached by an old friend who asks him to do a favor and meet with a prostitute who is looking to get out from under her pimp, Chance. This happens in the first three pages.
In the "film", Matt is approached by a stranger at one of his AA meetings, like, thirty minutes into the movie (we had to sit through a terrible scene where he's forced to shoot a man armed with only a bat and therefore gets kicked off the force). She hands him a piece of paper with Sunny's name and an address.
In the novel, the prostitute in question, Sunny, meets Matt at a bar and pays him money to talk to Chance in the hopes that he can get her squared away. Matt accepts and then spends a considerable amount of time tracking down Chance. They finally meet and Chance seems to be a pretty respectable guy, for a Pimp. He tells Matt that his ladies aren't his property and they are free to go whenever they want. And Sunny has no reason whatsoever to be afraid of him. He loves her.
In the film, Matt goes to Chance's house, which is a mansion which uses funicular cars to get to the main floor. Inside a huge party is going on and Chance and Matt know each other from way back in the day. What? Why? It appears Matt busted Chance before he started pimping. Sunny immediately starts hanging all over Matt, not telling him why he's there or what she wanted him for. Ugh.
Slap.
Yep. We're back to tough guys hitting women. But Matt only slaps her because she's trying to seduce him for no reason whatsoever. And after acting like a crazy person, she finally tells him what she needs him to do. Matt talks with Chance and Chance is like ..."I don't give a shit."
And trust me, I am SPARING you the weeks and months and years of Jeff Bridges being drunk and slurring. It's like Dr. Strange put a spell on me to re-live Bridges over-acting like crazy for the rest of my life -- and then I look at my watch and three minutes have passed. It's that terrible.
Anyway, I would say the biggest and glaring difference between the novel and the film is this guy...
Yes. That's Andy Garcia. And yes, you IMMEDIATELY know he is the bad guy. Oh shit, I skipped ahead. Let's back up...
Rewind...rewind...rewind...
I forgot to mention that Sunny gets kidnapped from a store, thrown into a van, murdered, and then dumped onto a beach....all pretty much in front of Matt. This is what sets the movie into motion even though it's half-way-fucking-through. As you can imagine, this is the first turning point in the novel which MAKES SENSE!
Anyway, not only do we as the audience know that Andy Garcia killed her, but Matt accuses him right away of killing her and then spends the rest of the movie proving it. Any guesses what happens in the novel?
First off -- HIS CHARACTER ISN'T IN THE FUCKING NOVEL!!!! Secondly, we don't find out who killed Sunny or why until, like, the last ten pages of the book. Thats. Why. I. Kept. Reading.
Okay, my blood pressure is up. I need to take a breath. Can I watch Black Moon again please?
Anyway, long story short, Matt eventually figures out that Garcia is a coke dealer and he killed Sunny for some stupid reason (not at all like the book) and he and Chance and his ex-partners all get together to bring Garcia down.
Oh shit. I forgot one more thing (because it's quite forgettable)...
There are two big "climaxes" in this clump of celluloid. The first happens when Garcia basically kidnaps Rosanna and agrees to give her back to Matt in exchange for his coke (which Matt took -- wasn't even worth explaining). So they all meet in a giant EMPTY warehouse for the exchange and things go awry. People start shooting and pretty much everyone is killed except Garcia of course who gets away.
And finally (my brain is tired just thinking about this), Matt and Rosanna head back to Chance's mansion for some reason only to find Garcia waiting for them. A ridiculous shootout occurs and Matt kills Garcia. The end. Fascinating right?
So after writing this I decided to go to the imdb page and read some trivia. And boy do things make a lot more sense now.
Apparently, Oliver Stone wrote the original first version of the script and that got re-written by some hack. Then, because the new version was so terrible the studio hired Robert Towne for another rewrite and even that version didn't get made. Eventually the final screenwriter was so embarrassed he didn't use his real name.
Also, Hal Ashby had most of the actors improvise the entire movie. Also, Hal Ashby was fired right after initial photography wrapped.
This is why Hollywood rarely gets it right.
Rating: 2 out of 20
Movies to watch instead of this: Manhunter, Walk Among the Tombstones, Jack Reacher. Really, anything else.
Horrible films aside, this was a wonderful week. Thank you, Blaine. You kept me sober and busy and I'm ready to take on my next challenge. I was going to begin Bodie's assignments but we got slightly derailed due to limited resources so I am now awaiting a DVD in the mail and I will start Bodie after our next client:
Ryan D.
Go Lions!
No...thank you. This week could not have ended any better for me. Your misery is delightful from the outside. It does sound worse than Black Moon, and that’s some good trivia. Thanks!
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